On Halloween, every time a door opened, ladies would immediately start gushing, “Oh, look! It’s Madeline!” Boy would stare at me miffed and ask under his breath, “How do they even know that?” I don’t know, but it wasn’t because we tried very hard.
For costumes this year I basically pulled open their drawers and asked, “Whaddya got?” Initially, I was going to have the boys go as matching German Air Garrison pilots since they already had the hats. However, this would necessitate matching navy pants and navy ties. I went to the store. I stared at the pants. Boy stood at the ready with the credit card.
And I folded. It’s Halloween, it’s dark out, no one cares. And that’s how you save 30 bucks. I dressed Jehu and asked, “What are you?” He took one look at himself and answered, “U.S. Navy.” I did the same to Gideon. He replied, “Royal Air Force!” There you go.
Jael already had her dress in her closet and the hat we picked up for free the weekend before at a yard sale. Rahab’s hand-me-down costume didn’t fit so at the last moment I stuffed her in a fall-ish kind of dress with a hat. Which is plain and simple cheating.
What I didn’t count on was how much people loved their costumes. They were repeatedly declared everyone’s favorite and then fawned over until it went straight to their heads. Gideon declared, “I’m going as this every year!” He insisted on wearing it again the next day.
For the last couple afternoons they had been working on another fort. Firewood is the new Lego.
Although personally I think heavy lifting, cold, and dirt are way overrated. I’m just not going to tell them that. Poor kids don’t know any better.
Then there is the matter of candy. Do you know how much candy five kids haul in? It’s obscene. I generally find it’s better to buy them out than for me to have to eat it all. Which I will do, under duress. So I gave them each a quart zip-lock bag for keeps and Daddy Boy hid the rest to redistribute at Christmas. In compensation we took them shopping. How often does that happen? (Never.) Jael got gel pens and Rahab got a heap of twist-up crayons. Which, unlike real crayons, stay sharp and don’t break when you step on them. Genius! The boys got the “Warfare by Duct Tape” e-book and a couple rolls of colored tape. All better than a month-long sugar high during cold season, if you ask me. They are only half-way through their stashes as is. They get two pieces after meals. As my father always says, “The secret to pollution is dilution.” But then again, he’s the kinda guy who stirs his Snickers bar into his mush.