The kids have all been taking turns with laryngitis. Jehu got it two weeks ago. I thought it was the best disease ever. He just sat quietly in his desk and did his school work. Half the time I forgot he existed. He didn’t talk for three days. Anytime anyone would act up I would say, “Jehu, please kiss your brother. You know, just kiss them all while you are at it.”
It didn’t take long before Gideon had it anyways. Then it was shockingly quiet. Even when the boys finally got better they seemed to have forgotten how to talk. Things changed with Jael. She would wake up hoarse in the morning and rant and rail in her tiny cracked voice. We couldn’t convince her that she would feel better if she kept her mouth shut. Then Judith developed the most pitiful little squeak and next thing you know Rahab was vomiting into her dinner plate. I am starting to think by the time this infection works through all eight people we will have been doing this for a whole month.
On the bright side, yesterday for recess I tucked them all in my bed to listen to Bill Cosby on Rdio. That cheered them up.
Not to mention, Cosby’s parenting skits put me in a good light. “[after spanking the kids] My wife comes downstairs with a broken stick. She throws it on the table and begins to talk out loud to… NOBODY! ‘Gonna tell me that you’re not going to do something when I tell you to do something. I mean you MOVE when I say move! Think I carried you in my body for nine months so you can roll your eyes at me? I’ll roll that little head of yours down on the floor. You don’t know who you’re fooling with. I’ll beat you until you can’t grow anymore!'”
I remember Gideon was listening to something funny when he had lost his voice. He was laughing so hard it ended up sounding like he was having an asthma attack. He eventually had to take himself outside before he asphyxiated.
Eve, on the other hand, wasn’t amused.