12 weeks, due March 6. I am so pleased, because I felt almost certain that it would take forever to get pregnant, and then I would miscarry…repeat. Once burned, twice shy. Actually, I have had five miscarriages. Which makes me the equivalent of a hardened criminal. I think I have to pinch myself to remember that I am pregnant at all.
This is my 9 week ultrasound. I haven’t been to the midwives yet, but one of my friends is training as an ultrasound tech at a pregnancy crisis center and wanted someone to experiment on. I have been in twice and I will probably go back again in my second tri-mester. Which begs the question, are we going to found out if it’s a boy or a girl? Jehu did say, “I can wait a month to find out, but I cannot wait a half a year!” Five girls in a row, or a boy? Minor detail.
I feel like every time we choose to have another baby we step out in faith. There is always a little jump. But I remind myself that if I look backward I only see blessing. I cannot recall a time when I did not love having each one of my children. I have never thought of them as a burden or an inconvenience. And we have always had everything we needed. So why when we look forward do we only see fear, when we look backward we only see goodness? God is faithful, He always has been. God gives us grace when when we need it, not before. So we go forward and trust Him. And somehow in our trepidation we accidentally stumble ahead into the heart and soul of AMAZING. And we’re like, oh my gosh, I didn’t even know this was here. Really, no idea. 😛