I haven’t blogged in a while. Usually I don’t admit that. I don’t like crying. For heaven’s sake, it’s your blog. Please don’t apologize.
But I’ve been really bad.
I think it’s because I don’t like blogging unless my life is all together. And my life hasn’t been very together. Fortunately, I don’t take no for an answer. We’re on the up and up. Of course, it helps that Baby Cyborg is doing marvelously better. It’s amazing how much the little things add up. Not to mention the BIG things. The tube is out!
It was as though all this time I had been dying to see what he looked like. To smoosh him all up and kiss his face and love him to pieces. And now he is all mine, no strings attached. Not to mention, when I go to bed…I actually get to go to bed. I don’t have to haul his feeding bassinet into my room. Hang out with the breast pump. Decant half of the milk into the feeding pump while putting the rest in the fridge (if I can find a clean storage bottle with a lid). Prime the pump and run all of the air out of the tube. Wash out the bottles for the breast pump. Brush my teeth, dig through the laundry to find pajamas. Drag the feeding pump and IV pole down the hall to wake up my husband while I set it up in our room. Then go back to set the breast pump up in the living room so I can pump at night. …So I can go to bed at 11:00, so I can wake up at 2:00. What?
Now I go to bed like a normal person and let the kid wake up whenever he wants. Which, get this, happens to be at 6:30 in the morning. All the little things. 😉 I can’t get over how much I love just looking at his face. I don’t think I appreciated it so much before.
The duct tape and dirty adhesive marks were literally killing me. Way to ruin a perfectly good baby. Even though the feeding tube is out (and there was much rejoicing), he is still on thickened formula feeds, for who knows how long really. But at least he’s not ugly. And the three older kids had had it up to here with cleaning the pump. Marc said if he heard that thing beep one more time he was going to take it outside and shoot it.
Suffice to say, we are in a much better place. Give me a week and I hope to be all the way back to my old crazy. The new crazy makes it look really good. I can hardly wait.